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Can you (and should you) force it?

Look--Spring has arrived in Akron, Ohio! We don't have three feet of snow. It's all gone, and the daffodils are coming up, and students are wearing flipflops to class again, and AWP 09 is a distant memory (what a blast though) so it's smooth-sailing into the summer.

I'm fooling myself, but I am not doing a very good job of it.

How does this relate to writing? Well, I've been wondering if writing is like running, and that once you're knee-deep into a poem or story, and begging yourself to go wash a coffee cup and leave the poem--you should just try to write your way through the wall.

I'm not very good at writing my way through the wall lately. I have been distracted. I've written a lot, but for each new poem in my Spring 09 word doc I have two or three false starts. At least I've been hanging on to them, but sometimes I wonder if it would be better to power through the pain. It's what we do with winter, right? Just look at the ground and keep walking.

Do you, can you, and should you force yourself to keep writing something when you're losing steam? Or is it best to go dust that dresser that urgently needs attention?

Soft as snow (but warm inside).

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I look into my blog archives for guidance sometimes. Am I always this disorganized in week two of Spring semester? How long did winter last in 2007? What was I doing on this day in 2006?

I was cruising the archives yesterday, and realized that my productivity levels have a lot to do with the seasons, though maybe the academic calendar has something to do with it as well.

In response, I ranked my seasons of writerly productivity like this. 1 is the most productive, and 4 is the least.

1. SPRING (My favorite season! I'm always so manic and itchy, in a figurative way, not a "needs benedryl" way).

2. FALL (Oh yeah. Fall is actually my favorite season, especially from a sensory standpoint. But it also corresponds with the new semester madness, which is a big buzzkill).

3. SUMMER (I did a NAPO with some friends last year, which really helped, but typically summer is no time for writing poems).

4. WINTER (Bah).

How do the seasons rank for you? This is wholly unscientific on my part, and if I wasn't totally behind right now I would try to quantify. But here's my stab at it.

Where we go from here.

What I didn't know, or thank, at the time.

Quick! Before you have to get back to work on whatever it is you're working on (chopping down a tree, devouring fondue, counting paperclips), please complete the following exercise.

Name three things that you are now thankful for, but that you weren't thankful for at the time. I'm leaving the "things" part pretty open, but mine have to do with learned skills and experiences.

Here is my response.

1. Typing class in high school. I thought it was total bs at the time. Yeah, right. This will be my most useful class ever. Sure. Much more useful than all of the French I'm taking, which will be putting the real bucks (and brie) on the table when I grow up, as if I actually think about growing up other than that it'll be awesome. But I am thankful every day for what I learned on that shiny electric typewriter. There were many times in my life when the ability to type 60-ish wpm put the bucks (and Kraft singles) on the table. I can type faster than I think. So thank you typing class, or keyboarding, or whatever they called it.

2. Crappy temp jobs that taught me a lot about office work, and life in general. There's nothing like being dropped into a completely unfamiliar office environment and having to jump right in operating the switchboard and not mispronouncing everyone's last name and wondering when you can get up to use the bathroom and praying that the photocopier doesn't eat you, all while stashing an issue of the New Yorker on your lap in the hope of some downtime. I never thought that I would actually learn anything as a temp, other than how to send faxes and fly under the radar. Now that I do a lot of office work, however, I am so thankful that I know how to perform minor surgery on a paper cutter, or how to unjam a copier (though oh how those puppies have changed over the years). I am also a lot more appreciative of administrative staff. I still send my own faxes, too, even though the machines don't make that delicious screeching sound any more.

3. Shop classes in junior high and high school. I always had a fascination with shop, whether it was cars or woodworking or small machines. Was it just because of the sexy safety goggles? No. I'm not sure why I enjoyed it so much, but shop class indulged the side of me that likes to take things apart. Every day I looked forward to working on my _______, and there it was, along with the other _______s, waiting for me. I don't know if shop class is designed to give artsy, bookish teens more confidence, but I think it did for me. I still remember the multi-sensory barrage of being in shop class, and I'm still not afraid to take (most) things apart. I would hazard to guess that shop class did more to inspire my writing than English class did.

So what are your three for the day? Please share, either here or at your own place.

Is there something "unpoetic" about being happy?

I feel almost unqualified to ask this question, since I spend 58% of my time sulking, but in the remainder of my time I am happy. And I wondered if you are more inspired by your happy times or by your sulky or sad or pouty times. If you have those, of course.

Lately I think that I'm most inspired when the happy intersects with the sulky. I've even tried to write about it. For this reason, I am glad that I am not happy all of the time.

In unrelated news...

Take a peek at John Gallaher's new book cover. Its official release date is in April, but we'll be debuting the book at AWP Chicago, so you can get your signed copy before everyone else does. And then you can gloat.

Speaking of new covers, here's the sunny new issue of Barn Owl Review, which will also make its debut at AWP. One of the unique features of this issue is that it contains a crossword puzzle based on all of the writing inside. Read the issue, and then do the puzzle. What could be better?

Wherein the author becomes resolute (or something like that).

You are totally right. I have not posted any actual New Year's Resolutions here, and that is rather disappointing. You must think that I don't care about self-improvement. But I do! Or some version of it. Or whatever.

Really, I was too busy "having fun" (yeah, what's that, right?) to write my resolutions out. So here goes.

1. I shall not spend my entire life in the office. This is my last semester before a three-year administrative gig that will have me working in the office a lot. I do like working here, but sometimes I end up with extra work because I'm around. So I am resolving to learn how to work in other places. Like underwater. Just kidding. Maybe at home, or similar.

2. I shall not make more work for myself. I'm not sure what that involves--perhaps some judicious use of the word no--but I am going to try it.

3. I shall organize my poems, once and for all. This includes revising my current ms and giving it the new ending that I feel brewing, even if it's inconvenient and involves dealing with that bitch called pagination.

4. I shall not simultaneously submit, ever again. Done! Ha. That was easy. Take me off the BFS show.

5. I shall stop being meek and mild when I don't need to be. I didn't grow up and work hard so that I can continue to be pushed around like the rebellious teenager that I never really was.

6. I shall stop feeling bad about doing anything but working in my office while my kids are at school or with a sitter. I'm not sure if I will be able to do this, but I will try. This morning I did have a few tranquil moments at the laundromat (before realizing I'd been using a dryer sans heat for 30 minutes--bah) where I didn't feel like I was being an evil person for being alone for a few minutes. Sometimes we all need that, I think.

So there it is. And now I have some very thirsty office geraniums to attend to, thank you very much.

Where do you get your information?

I'm not experiencing anything as devastating as the above, but let's just say that it's been a while since I was on the other side of sending manuscripts out, and I'm wondering where folks like to find information about book contests these days. So far I've used a highlighter on a recent issue of Poets & Writers. Am I doing it right?

The editor side of me would also like to know, so that we can properly shout from the rooftops that Martín Espada is judging this year's Akron Poetry Prize.

Thanks for advance for any sources, print, online, or magically derived out of the ether.

Hello, 2009.

I think you just might be a good one.