Note to corporate office of certain children's photography studio chain:
If hoping to persuade bleary-eyed mall-going mothers to take advantage of your free 8x10 offer, it is best not to send the salesperson with the prosthetic vampire fangs out into the crowd to solicit. Even ex-goth moms find this a bit disconcerting.
Note to corporate office of certain popular retail store, children's division:
Advise sales personnel not to tell customers "Now don't lose that gift card" upon purchasing said item, as this may tempt customers to say, "What, do I look disorganized?" or "It's none of your business what I do with this gift card. I may go break into someone's house with it, or chisel grooves into it and use it to cut down all of the trees on the mall property." The customer will likely reconsider such retorts, but will fume about the incident in the car, and purchase all back-to-school clothes at Gymboree instead.
Two Concerned Citizens
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